posted 9th May, 2012 under Food for Thought.
My partner and I just bought two tiny ducks and they are the cutest things I have ever owned.
I wake up and I want to hear them chirp, I bath them, talk to them and sometimes I put food in my mouth and let them eat it, just like a mother would.
Sound gross? That is because even though I do those things I would never admit them out loud to any one…unlike many other mothers I know.
I understand that having children is a huge step in anyone’s life and so on and so forth.
Every where you go, look, read, hear or see there is a mother who can talk about nothing else than her child. Before I launch into this, I should add I love kids. In fact, I hope I have an indoor-football team worth of them.
But honestly what kind of hormonal brain washing occurs when you give birth?
Has this woman lived in solitude without anything amazing happen before popping out a mini-her?
Her Facebook account went from pictures of her going out and having a life to pictures of her feeding her child and status updates of him doing his first poo. I‘ll give my family and friends strict instructions to remind me of my existence as a person as well as a mother, but will I (oh, the horror) join this cult too?
Maybe I get so annoyed because the parental instinct inside of me does not run wild and quiet frankly, having children would put a damper on the amazing travelling life my partner and I have right now.
But does a woman’s identity have to change once she has a child?
I say no, and my reasons are not because I am unmarried, childless or highly allergic to a screaming child- my reasons are based on observations from friends who have kids, my beautiful mother and the future-mother-in-me.
- Talking about your child or bringing them up in every conversation is never fun for the other person, especially if they do not have children and even more importantly if they are trying to conceive and are having trouble.
- Using the everyday tasks of your new pride and joy as the highlight of conversations. There is nothing more intolerable than hearing a story about how ‘babies name here’ had a poo the other day or sneezed or laughed. Sorry to all those mothers out there but it just gets old quickly.
- And last but not least, remember the harsh fact about saying your partner’s name 10 times more than you would say your own in a day- well triple that for how many times you would say your child’s name and there you have it- the most annoying conversation starter in the world.
From Louise Jeckells.
A woman who gets a whole nine hours sleep a night, uninterrupted, and loves it.
posted 3rd May, 2012 under Food for Thought,Nutrition and Health Cabinet.
Stress has always been depicted as an unhealthy factor in our daily lives with many undesirable sight effects.
The word is very taboo and many women do not mention it because relieving it would be a sign of weakness.
After hard consideration, and a few years of being able to maintain my level of stress, I have decided to stand up for ‘healthy stress’-a term which scientifically exists.
Like so many other things in our lives-a healthy balance to any situation is usually required and it is no different when talking about stress.
Stress is organised into four different categories ranging from healthy stress, which is usually based around situations to chronic stress, which requires medication.
Among the four levels of stress, it is the first level that is considered as “healthy stress”.
This word would confuse so many women.
How can stress be healthy?
On this level, a person is highly motivated and her energy levels are usually focused on a particular activity or job.
To stay mentally active in my job I create a healthy level of stress for myself.
I work myself up to this level and then I become more efficient.
I drink more water, I eat more fruit and I after I finish my activity I usually schedule something fun and interesting to calm myself down-like annoying my boyfriend.
Other examples of situations which occur around healthy stress are times when manageable life changing events occur, like a job promotion or getting married.
Stress is apart of life and although not everyone will go through it we will have partners that do.
It is important to understand the difference between positive, neutral and negative stress levels.
Research and understand it well because healthy stress is something we all have felt from time to time and maybe we should learn to work with it instead of against it.
And if all else fails in getting rid of your ‘unhealthy stress’ I suggest having sex.
Louise Jeckells
A lover of maintained stress
posted 13th April, 2012 under Food for Thought.
I know one of the greatest fears of aging (above and beyond the dreaded wrinkles that manage to creep up around our eyes) is the fear of losing your memory. Us woman, pride ourselves on being the organisers, the ones who remember all the right dates and times and ensures all bills and deadlines are met efficiently.
Continue reading Train that Beautiful Brain »
posted 4th April, 2012 under Food for Thought.
The other day my partner and I had a rapid conversation, also known as an argument, over money.
I’m a journalist and he is a professional football player which means our salaries couldn’t be more different at the moment.
We live together, in a different country and we share everything including my debt.
At the moment I’m working on building my portfolio and not my bank account and yet my partner has never been in a more comfortable spot in his career which means we’re butting heads on things we see as necessary.
We have allowed ourselves to be different and we have learned to appreciate things about each other which also drives us mad.
But the question I ask my partner is ‘How can I continue to enjoy my relationship without having to sacrifice things I love and enjoy because I feel guilty spending money I haven’t earned?’
A close friend of mine just ended her six-year relationship with her partner and when tying up loose ends she handed most of ‘their’ savings to him.
She said it was because he had supported her through university and most of the money saved was not hers.
I saw this as being noble, and knowing I am nothing like her, it had me worried that most women don’t just walk away from a relationship but they also take nothing with them.
Women should know their relationships better than anyone else but having to disable and pick through it all of the time is tiresome work.
The free flow of a relationship which combines both careers and both passions is not easy but communication throughout it needs to stay constant.
My partner and I have devised a plan.
Each week we sit down and remind ourselves that money is not the driving force behind our jobs nor our relationship.
Reminding ourselves of this just means we are willing to work through the rapid conversations and focus on the good things.
I would never lie to my immature-at-heart partner and he could hardly lie to me without bleeding from the nose so we both know the relationship is built on trust.
The point I am trying to make, which I hope was clear is, whether or not money is an issue in your relationship-knowing you and your partner are different is what weaves you both together.
And if your differences are too far fetched then just yank his credit card and buy some shoes.
Louise
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