The Femme Files

Its Not All About You, Mr.

When will a male realise sex is not just about him?

Disclosure: I want to say sorry to all of my gay friends for insulting your gender, my mother, mother-in-law and women who have just given birth to males.

This is not an attack but purely the beginnings of an intervention.

From an early age I knew that there were very distinct differences between males and females but not all of them very understandable.

The ones that were: All males enjoy breasts- no matter what age they are and they all have issues with their mothers which will surface in any relationship.

The ones I can’t explain: Why men feel that it is their given right to orgasm during sex. That is all.

I have tried to answer this question over many years and the one dominating answer which I receive: Men have larger libidos than women.

Study after study has suggested that this is true, but I am not here to talk about studies instead I want to hear about this topic from women of different ages.

A few weeks ago I was out having a drink with a few girlfriends who I have met travelling. Our ages range from early twenties to mid-forties. After a bottle or two of the finest Indonesian wine we realised we all had an endless supply of stories about the ‘selfish-sex-male’. Yes we gave it a name.

I told them this story: Men, on average, take up to 4 minutes from point of entry to ejaculation but women can take up to 10 to 11 minutes to reach their first, and sometimes only, orgasm (a handy piece of information to know).

There is quite a difference in time between these two, especially when a man dismounts after he is done and leaves you wondering where that extra 6 or 7 minutes went.

I have read articles in the past where it states the woman needs to be in both a relaxed and excited state at the same time in order to receive maximum pleasure.

So how could a woman possibly be in two states at the same time when her partner is racing to the finish line?

Orgasmic bliss is a sure thing for males and we all understand that it needs to be regular and after discussing this blog post with my partner he showed me how a male can prove his worth.

“Be honest with your partner in bed, or wherever it is you romp, no judgement.

“In the end it is females who have the last laugh: They can orgasm more than once during sex.”

On a side-note for those women who have never had an orgasm before I suggest ditching your man and buying an electronic device to see you through those 10 to 11 minutes- but trust me, with one of those you won’t need all of those minutes.

Louise Jeckells

A girl who believes desire originates between the ears instead of between the legs.