The Femme Files

Why are Some Girls so Mean?

I’m getting on my high horse today as yesterday I was belittled and left livid after encountering a type of girl, who thankfully I rarely find myself in the company of, but when I do I am left at a loss. Granted, I fortunately never bore the brunt of school bullying as my tolerance for those insecure girls were little to none and I actively chose to surround myself with nice girls vs mean girls. Does this mean I abdicated a potential popularity throne? Yes. However, come Year 12 was my group (without me realising) the most admired group in our year? Apparently so – well that’s what one nice peer told me anyway.  And those so called ‘popular girls? Well they had either dropped out or been relegated to the misfits of the year.

The girl in question, continually batted her eyelids, spoke down to me as if I was a delinquent and repeated her terrible directions at me louder and louder to hammer the point home. The moment I shook her hand and introduced myself, I knew she was trouble. She chose not to look at me, not to smile and to judge me on what I looked like.  Attempts at conversation were left to dwindle awkwardly in the air as she CHOSE to answer in single word sentences. She pouted, tut tutted and stared me down whilst telling me the process I had been operating (which had worked beautifully previously) was WRONG and ‘clearly I wasn’t listening’.

The funny thing was that she appeared to be nice as pie and super friendly to everyone else who walked into the marketing booth we were manning. Any other person who came into contact with her, particularly of the male orientation, she talked candidly, laughing and cooing at appropriate times. She even scored a free coffee from the male barista next door and failed to introduce me to him so I was left standing there like a shag on a rock. I also noted how comfortable she was in talking to girls who were not as gregarious, smiley and relatively attractive. (No I am not suggesting that I am lustrous, radiant and a stellar example of what beauty is, but I know how to present myself when necessary as most girls do)

The problem here is deep down I knew this girl was simply trying to build herself up by tearing me down. I should have felt sorry for her as clearly she was deeply insecure, but I still felt like throttling her. She was so territorial over her work and deeply competitive that I couldn’t help without being seen as trying to overstep her. Rising above it became exceedingly difficult.

Given that I actively choose not to entertain these people’s games I found it down right impossible to tolerate this girl’s attitude. I also knew confrontation would have made my day go from bad to worse as she was most likely an expert in the art of the cat fight. A sport I can happily admit, I have little experience. Despite knowing how vulnerable I was to her insults I still tried again and again to smile, engage and move forward. I’m thinking the smarter person would have just ignored her outright. But I am stubborn and desperately sought to win this girls attitude over.

 So enough of a rant, hopefully this gets it all off my chest and I can move on. I’d hate to think she manipulated my thoughts this much, but tell me, how do YOU remain civil and deal with these moments of female ferocity?