The Femme Files

Plan the Man?

Working in an all female office it can be hard to gear the conversation away from the inevitable tirades we start to outpour regarding the inability for partner to do x,y and z.

As a rule of thumb, I really do hate making broad sweeping statements about gender, as I honestly feel that gender assumptions should be abolished in the name of equality. That being said, given that all of us here at Hypoxi HQ manage to gravitate to the same uncanny findings regarding men, perhaps I should admit defeat with some aspects of the guys in our lives (I dunno….perhaps we know the wrong ones!?)

The most common complaint I here among women is that the men in their lives don’t make plans. That there partner is indifferent. Conversations go like this: “What do you want to do Friday night?” He shrugs and says, “Whatever.” Women get annoyed by this, express said frustration, and are immediately dismissed as “nags.” Which is a term I hate. Because we aren’t nagging, we are simply trying to ensure that our partner is able to think of us even when we’re not in the flesh….wait that might be asking them to multitask.

As a result I have turned to analyzing the male social pattern of my partner for answers. It appears that for his social sphere the concept of organising a night out doesn’t constitute relegating tasks for each week to ensure said social target is met. A social calendar doesn’t’ need to be filled up four months prior (much to my dismay) For men, sitting around on a weekend afternoon in their man cave watching a sports game or playing something known as a PlayStation (don’t even get me started on this vacuous occupation)….well apparently that’s a plan. And if someone calls up to ask if he wants to watch the footie together then so be it; he’ll happily be out the door in half an hour with a fresh t shirt, ready to pick up a six pack on the way.  Now that’s a man plan!

This somewhat dubious way of organising ones agenda often leads to women thinking they aren’t priority number one, which we should be right? Maybe, however we are complicit in this process of apparent apathy towards social priorities. Some men have somewhat delicate egos and the off the cuff, “That DVD you chose was SO CRAP!, may have stunted his desire to plan anything.

So, in the name of empowerment why not assign certain nights for organising a do, and just see what the boyfriend or man friend decides to whip up for you?

And apologies if you are relegated to the couch this Sunday with a can of VB and a packet of chips….at least you tried.

What do you think; do you find it hard to get the men in your life to organise an outing? Are women destined to be the leader in social diaries? Let me know…