The Femme Files

Flying Back in Time

One airline shocks its employees with its new workplace manual

Now there’s a code of conduct at every workplace which usually revolves around the avoidance of low cut tops, hooker heels or stealing someone else’s gourmet sambo from the fridge – if this applies to you, it’s nothing compared to the rules female flight attendants at Air New Zealand must adhere to.

The latest manual for the airline was recently released – some slightly offended staff members obviously decided to make it public knowledge! Here’s a few of the rules and regulations: too much or too little makeup is a no no, with blue eyeshadow or bright red, pink, purple or orange lipstick, unnatural looking tans, scaly hands and smelly breath also banned. Staff must pluck their monobrows, trim nasal hair and avoid excessive “frosting” in the hair as well as hair bands with a metal joint. Always wear deodorant, and if you’re a sweaty betty, the manual even details where to buy specialised sweat pads to absorb the excess. Physical appearance is obviously important, so staff are advised to stay fit and “may find it helpful to wear a pedometer, which will measure how many steps you are taking each day and hence give you a measure of how active you are and can aim to be.”

Where the instructions got interesting was when it came to cultural behaviour…

Koreans expect good manners and patience, while Japanese folk expect reading material to be provided. Tongans are a softly spoken race, so “no need to shout” the guide says, however, “as alcohol is free on board a lot will be trying to drink the bar dry.” Samoans won’t get boozed but they do come from a warm climate so are grateful for a warm rug, and Thais expect a souvenir gift from the flight. Air New Zealand says this part of the manual has been removed, however, the fact that it was even there in the first place is ludicrous!

When serving customers, always refer to wine by the grape variety rather than ‘red’ or ‘white’ and on no account should one offer passengers a ‘bun’ – instead the different types of bread on offer must be described. Oh – and never put more than six teabags in a pot at any time.

“We want you to be you, not someone else,” the manual expresses. “Feel natural, so accentuate your good points and don’t overdo what you don’t need.” What they probably don’t need is a written guide telling them how to control sweat and speak to different races – did someone say patronising?

In an age where we are finally trying to shake stereotypes, it is pretty disappointing to see some organisations doing their best to enforce them.  Does your workplace have rules you think are ridiculous? If so, we at the Femme Files would love to hear them…