Comments on: How to Let Go – Biting the Break Up Bullet

By: Rachel

Rachel — Fri, 26 Aug 2011 02:48:57 +0000

I ended a friendship that was draining me, a few years ago now. The woman has tried on a few occasions to catch up with me and used the ‘let bygones be bygones’ and ‘let’s be grown-ups’ cards. She will never understand that it’s not about holding grudges, lack of forgiveness, or needing to grow up. I can and have forgiven her. But when I know that someone’s way of doing friendship is so different from my own, I can’t go there again.

By: Beatrice

Beatrice — Sun, 01 Aug 2010 13:07:57 +0000

Over two and a half years ago, I told a friend that I no longer wanted her in my life. At the time, we had been friends for 10 years and had lots of ups & downs, including her making passes at 2 of my boyfriends – I forgave her because I wanted to be the kind of person who forgives her friends for their “mistakes”. She always had an alcohol/substance abuse problem, had a bout in rehab and was in general terms a very self-destructive person. Throughout the friendship, I kept of forgiving her for this and that, kept on giving and supporting her through her dark times as she supported me but in the end, her demons were too present and ended-up affecting me too. When drunk or high, she’d become aggressive and say really hurtful things and one NYE was the last straw – I kicked her out of my house and wrote her an email the next day saying I didn’t want her in my life. We met a few months later at her request and I still felt like I had made the right decision even though at times, I’d like to hear how she is doing and I miss our laughter, we had a very similar sense of humor; but when the bad outweighs the good and your values are not the same, as adults, there is no point wasting time on relationships that hurt more than bring joy.

By: margaret

margaret — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 01:24:29 +0000

I too had a very good friend tell me she didn’t want to be friends any more (over a year ago) because I didn’t agree with her new boyfriend’s comments over dinner (there were 2 couples). I couldn’t believe she would compromise our friendship when the new boyfriend may not be around forever. I can only guess that she is jealous that I have been married for 39 years successfully, even though I may have had a couple of glitches. We have not talked since, even though I have seen her at social functions. I shared things with her that I have never told any other friends.

By: Tracey

Tracey — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 11:01:02 +0000

I have recently ended two relationships at the same time, both with men. One that I worked with and the other had been a friend for fifteen years. You may ask why both at the same time, because they betrayed me behind my back. My oldest friend (will call him Tony)was really horrible to me and I was very upset and told my friend from work (will call him Steven) who happened to meet my friend Tony through a mutual friend. Steven and Tony worked out that they knew me and then Steven told Tony what I had said and I am sure embellished on what I had said. So of course this caused problems, the result of this is I have ended the two friendships and don’t speak to either one of them. And yes I was heart broken, but one thing I have learnt.. I don’t need friends like that in my life. Sometimes it’s hard but you know what is the right thing to do for you!