The Femme Files

Why Lie Ladies?

Call them fibs, white lies, tall tales or falsehoods – the bottom line is that people today lie more frequently than they go to the bathroom.  And while there are different levels of severity when it comes to lying – telling porkies is a major social issue which has the capacity to hurt relationships, businesses and society in general.

While sitting at a cafe last weekend I watched as a group of women welcomed an additional friend to their table.  I couldn’t help but overhear as the eldest woman complemented the newcomer on how amazing she looked – “Sarah you look fantastic, that dress shows off your curves – purple really suits you!”.

The high pitched, over-the-top adulation didn’t take me by surprise, but what I heard half an hour later out of the same woman’s mouth as they all got ready to leave did – “Sarah really didn’t look herself, I think she’s put on weight”.

As I sat there – a raft of questions swarmed in my head….

What went through this woman’s mind when she told her friend a lie, completely unprompted?  What did she hope to gain out of telling the fib? Did she lose credibility in her friends’ eyes when she let it slip that she didn’t mean the complement she paid?

Is there ever a situation when stretching the truth is acceptable?

I posed this question to some women at Hypoxi and they suggested it is ok to tell a white lie when the consequences of telling it are insignificant and are far outweighed by the potential benefit to the person being lied to. 

But since when did our moral compass shift towards making lying ok?

Perhaps  the answer rests with the fact that we have come to expect to be lied to every day.  Take for example the conduct of the connoisseurs of lying – politicians.  Today we watched as Julia Gillard challenged Kevin Rudd for the position of Prime Minister.  Just 6 weeks ago, Ms Gillard was asked on radio whether there was any truth in the rumours that she was going for the top job. Gillard responded: “I know we’ll be welcoming Jessica [Watson] back to Sydney this weekend after her round the world epic feat. I tell you, I think there’s more chance of me going round the world sailing solo a dozen times than this chatter in the media becoming anything more than that.”

Then a week later she reinforced the point once again, stating “there’s more chance of me becoming the full forward for the [Western Bulldogs] than there is of any change in the Labor Party.”. 

Why are we not dismayed that we have been lied to in this situation?  Why have we become so immune to the BS?

If we have any chance of instilling the importance of telling the truth in our children – we need to lead by example.  If that means holding those people caught out lying to account and making them face the consequences – I’m OK with that.

We’d love to hear your honest thoughts on the topic – how many times a day do you think you lie?