The Femme Files

Hot Wedding Tips – What not to do on the Big Day!

In the lead up to the wedding season we’ve been getting a lot of brides-to-be through our doors, wanting to use Hypoxi to get in shape for the big day. As the women pedal away, we can’t help but overhear snippets of their conversations – from the demands placed on bridesmaids, to over-the-top hen’s nights – some of the revelations are shocking! Drawing on our own experiences, here’s the ultimate list of what NOT to do – whether you’re bride, groom or guest:

• Don’t place unfair demands on your bridal party. A friend of mine was one of ten bridesmaids at a large wedding about a year ago, and she’s still not speaking to the bride due to the ridiculous contract she was forced to sign – literally. This contract stated that in the leadup to the wedding, none of the bridesmaids would change their hair colour or cut, put on any weight, if possible they should aim to lose 3-5 kilos, will have regular manicures to ensure groomed nails and must promise to not be excessively inebriated at the wedding, maintaining decorum and looking after the bride at every moment. The list went on, and needless to say the girls weren’t pleased! You’ve chosen your bridesmaids because they’re your friends or family, so treat them with respect and love.
• Don’t plan your day around other people’s expectations – one Hypoxi client came into the studio crying because her mother-in-law to be refused to attend the wedding unless she added an additional 50 guests she had never met before.  Despite the pressure, remember the day is a celebration of your union with your partner – no-body elses.  So make sure it is a reflection of you and your partner.  If you don’t set the boundaries with your parents and in-laws now, it will only be harder down the track.
• Don’t invite the ex, or exes. No matter how well you all get on, weddings tend to bring out the emotional side in people and there’s nothing worse than looking over during your vows to see your hubby’s ex-girlfriend sobbing and mouthing “It should have been me!” or worse, looking longingly at him while showing ample cleavage and a thigh-high split – how did she manage to get in the first row anyway?
• Don’t seat divorced parents next to each other – there is a reason they separated and just because it’s your big day, don’t assume they can be civil to each other.  My girlfriend had her mother storm out of her reception when her ex-husband starting flirting with one of the guests.  You won’t enjoy your meal if you have one eye permanently fixed on the estranged couple.
• Don’t play hideous songs that demand co-ordinated dance moves. They’re great for entertaining kids, and they get people on the dance floor. But there’s absolutely nothing elegant, sophisticated, or funny about the Macarena. And they might just send your friends off the dance floor permanently.  We suggest you black list the following:
  Chicken Dance
  Macarena
  Locomotion
  YMCA
  Hokey Pokey
  Congo train 
• If you’re a guest – Don’t wear white or a dress that could pass as bandage. Just because weddings are a great place to meet people, there’s no need to go overboard. White is a definite no-no and a super-short mini doesn’t leave anything to the imagination.
• Don’t stress – this is a celebration, not an interrogation – so try and put it all in perspective if feels like it’s all getting too much.  Otherwise you’re likely to look back with regrets.

We’d love to hear your ultimate wedding tips too – do you have any words of wisdom to share with your fellow femmes?